-1-

"Alan, Alan . . . damn it, Alan," Minnie called to me in a hushed tone

I felt her lips touch the side of my face as she whispered my name again trying to get my attention. I turned my head away from the wall for just a moment and looked up at her face. Her hands were gripped firmly on the sides of my body, her purple streaked hair danced a few inches  above my chest.

Not moving from her position on top of me she reached across the bed  took a long drink from the glass of ice water on the bedside table. She ran her cold lips down my bare chest and moving  back up to my face she kissed the side of my cheek before rolling away from me. 

"Alan," she repeated lying down beside me, “You smell really good,"

I heard  the sound her hands slipping underneath the sheets but, I was too busy looking at the ceiling now.

"Alan ?,"

This time it sounded more like a question and I turned to face her. For the first time, I noticed the redness in her bright green eyes—she had slept in her contacts.

"Alan, fuck me," she whined placing her arms around me.

"Don't you ever get tired ?," I asked as she pushed herself closer to me.

Her hair was tossed all over her head and a thin line of sweat was forming on her body, her skin was still flushed but she had a devious look on her face. I couldn't see how Minnie didn't think she was as pretty as other girls. She was beautiful and attractive to me –more so than girls I knew but, all I could do was stare at her.

"Are you in pain or something ?," she asked getting  up and straddling my body again. 

She reached across me to the vanity on the other side of the bed, I held on to her waist to balance her as she leaned over and picked up one of the old-fashioned candy tins off the vanity. She sifted through it with her finger and put a small orange pill to my closed lips.

"C’mon, it's not like that ripper gave you any pain medications and it’s not like he ever will," she smiled

" I doubt this is aspirin," I said as Minnow pushed the pill in my mouth.

When she saw that I had swallowed it Minnow seemed pleased.

I held on to her firmly and rolled her over on the bed so, I was on top of her. I kissed her forcefully and my hands wandered each inch of her body, she laughed and struggled at each of my advances, until her laughs turned into soft moans.

Jean did not want to leave me with Minnie but, Sara insisted that he go with her to see Rayne about the Life Summit. Before they left, they each put on durable bright blue rain coats and rain boots to protect them from the rain.  

 

As soon as the door shut behind them I  was left  staring at Dakota's dead body. I was such an idiot for killing him, it was an impulsive act. I had no idea how to get rid of a cadaver.

I considered maybe cutting it into pieces, but that would be to messy and I doubt I had anything to hack through bone.

 

I grabbed Dakota’s arm and  dragged the body into the bathroom. I sloppily hoisted it into the large bathtub. Minnie watched me closely from a distance, never offering to help. She didn’t seem grossed out by the corpse either.

 

I took one of the buckets that had been catching rain off the floor and poured it on to the body. I wasn't sure what I thought going to happen but, when the water made contact with his clothes they discolored and a hole appeared.

 

 I took every bucket in the room and poured it into the tub and watched as the skin began to blister. I walked down the street clearing out all the gutters until I had enough acid rain that it  filled the tub. After a while I noticed clothing fragments floating to the top with pieces of skin and hair. After a while  I saw a bone float to the top I knew it only needed time before all that was left was a skeleton.  It took all my strength not to get sick.

When I finished I sat on the couch trying to compose myself and rationalize whatever the fuck I just did when Minnie took my hand. She led me into the bedroom and pushed me on to the bed. We kissed and I never realized how soft and comfortable the bed was. I didn't see why I had to tell Minnie about what Jean had said, it seemed stupid in comparison.

That was over 5 hours ago.

I just couldn’t get the image of his body out of my mind. I had murdered Someone who I had seen alive--someone who I had talked to . I was still very in to Minnie but, I hadn’t really been thinking about her the whole time--I was distracted. I could feel her on me, I  could hear her breaths but I may as well have been anywhere else.

"Holy shit--God help me," Jean said coming into the room, slamming the door loudly.

My first instinct was to  pull away from Minnie  but she held me closer and pulled the blankets over our bodies.

"How is it out there ?," Minnie asked

"We've seen better and worse," Jean sighed heading back for the door," Rayne gave us some money and the crazy bitch is all ready to go, she's packing now,"

"She has lost her mind," Minnie sighed, "Where is this Life thing anyway ?,"

"Hell if I know," Jean said opening the door, "Something tells me we will be gone from this place before the sun comes up,”

When Jean  shut the door I pulled away from her

"Are you mad about something ?," Minnie asked picking up a pair of white shorts off the floor and slipping them on.

It seemed like a stupid question. All I felt like was lying down to my death and being with her seemed to just barely take the edge off. I was pretty sure Minnie was the only sane one among them all.

" I don't know," I said "No, I just feel responsible for all this shit. I missed Morrissey, I killed Dakota . . .,"

"We  all always have shit, Alan,” she said “It makes life fun even if it frustrates us sometimes,"

"Sara wants to abandon this place. You aren’t  going to miss it here ?," I asked, "Look at all your things,"

"Alan,  I don't need things," she said picking up a duffel bag and filling it with random pieces of clothing. "I need excitement and fun and pleasure a little danger even,"

I pulled myself off the bed and watched Mininie pick up clothes and stuff them in the bag, they weren’t just her stuff but, Jeans too. I didn't understand how they could just not care. She paused at the vanity and flipped the lids on all of the candy boxes with a scrutinizing look on her face.

"Come with me, Alan," she said," I want to go and see Pascal before we go,"

"Who ?,"

"He sells us drugs," she explained

“But, it’s like 2 AM,” I said

 

“He never says no to me,” she laughed

When we walked out the door Sara was waiting for us

"Good, you all are ready to go, help me pack everything else,” she said “Let's get the hell out of here while it’s dark and the G-men are still scrambling to clean things up,"

" Fine,” Minnie said, “But, first I need to go and see Pascal,"

"We don't have time," Sara said,” The sun will be up in 4 hours,”

"I have to--,"

"Minnow you will be fine," Jean said taking the bag from her, “We have to leave while the time is good and not many people are out.,"

"Jean," she warned 

He placed his arm around her waist and pulled her into a hug-- an awkward one.

"Hold this," Sara said handing me a black bag.

 I wasn't paying attention to her because I was staring at the Dories trying to figure them  the hell out, and I missed the handle of the bag. It fell to the ground and hundreds of ammunition cartridges  spilled out along  with what looked like at least 40 weapons

"Alan !," Sara scolded me, “Some of those have N7 in them,”

I quickly put them back into the bag trying to act like her collection of nitrogen weapons didn't concern me but, they did. Why did she have so many guns anyway ?  Why is it when I asked for one she seemed like she didn't have enough ?

"You are such a fuck up, I swear," she sighed

I picked everything up and followed her outside, the air smelled sickeningly clean, like bleach

"I’m sending a message to  Rayne  telling him to tell Dakota's girls where they could find his body if they want it," she smiled, “ The acid thing--that was actually a smart move. Maybe you have more killer instincts than I thought,"

 

It killed me how happy I was to have her approval.

We walked towards an old black Eastern Militia van  outside.  She opened the back door where  the sides packed with  black bags and bright orange plastic boxes.

“You stole this ?,” I asked

“No, Rayne gave it to us for a price. I told him to add it to your tab,” she explained

For an hour we went back and forth carrying bags into the car and stuffing them into the corners. When everything was in the car we all gathered outside.

"Saint, I want you to drive us, you know the routine, pretend like you work for the militia-- act like you own this fucking Republic ," Sara said.

He was dressed the part in a dark black suit with dark shades and a bowler hat. The rest of us got into the back of the van. It was a narrow fit, I had my back against the door and Minnie sat beside me, Sara and her sleeping sons were huddled in the corner farthest from me and Jean was sitting beside Sara. The car jerked forward with a start and then we began  to move at a smooth even pace. The only noise was coming from the loud engine.

"So, how is Rayne ?," Minnie asked

"All business no pleasure," Jean laughed

Sara took out one of the screens and projected the images in the dark van.

"Listen up here is the plan,” she said, “I’ve tracked Morrissey’s  GPS. I know the coordinates but, I have no idea where exactly the hell that is. It’s not on any map in the entire system. Rayne didn’t know much about Life summit--I don't think he knows anything beyond what goes on in Mojave. So  . . .  Alan ?,"

"I don't know much, it's nothing most people know about," I said "I know it's like a 2 week long business convention lots of meetings, networking and lectures I mean--

"But, you said lots of money changes hands, right ?," Jean asked

“I don’t know, I would guess so,” I said

"How easy do you think the hit will be ?," Sara asked 

There was a silence.

"Alan ?," 

Was she talking to me.

"I don't know--,"

"I'm getting fucking tired of you saying that," Sara barked

"Relatively," I said," The Western States has a loss of life weapon ban. If something can kill a person it can’t be carried by civilians or low ranking military officers. No one will be armed,”

"I told you," Sara smiled, "You have killer instincts,"

 

 
-2-

 

I did not know nor did I think there was life beyond the sprawl where I lived. I mean I knew it existed but, I never thought about the actual lives people lived there. In a crash course I was learning there was a world beyond my own. Sure, the LOLA was just another sprawl, a little more dirty a little less in order and a bit dimmer but, the same. But what lies beyond that ?  What lies beyond the sprawls ?

 

Desert. Endless desert, dead earth and endless nothing. This beautiful earth—the only sanctuary for human life-- had been destroyed by war. That is what we learned in school. Years ago in the Serial Wars the State had suffered great damage. But the fact was this world was still destroyed .

 

Jean had been caught up in his books the entire time, Sara was caught up in her children and Minnow seemed to be caught up on me. The entire ride she had not left my side even though she had spent most of the time starring off into her Syndicate. It was annoying as hell to me.

 

I was battling with my own inner possession. There was a definite presence that there was something alien in my body. I would not admit this to myself but, I was pretty sure I was hearing voices as well. It all just made no sense.

 

It was the morning of the 2^nd day of our trip, everyone was asleep  except Minnow and I. Jean and Sara had fallen asleep  leaning on one another shoulders. Minnie’s  bare knees were straddle tightly over my thigh and she was counting her pills. Aside from the small fans and water bottles the heat in the enclosed van was unbearable. Minnie had stripped down to just a beige slip. She took a bright yellow tablet and rolled it over in her hands

"I have no real idea what these do," she sighed and then picked up a hot pink one, "But, this one makes everything better. It's strong,"

She put it to my face and I pushed it away.

"I shouldn't," I told her

 

“I shouldn’t,” She said

 

I took the pill from her and chewed it and she did the same because we both knew it didn't matter.

"Those scars look like they hurt," she observed giving me her compact mirror.

I looked in the reflection—she was right they did. I had taken the bandages off because I was sweating so much. The scars across my forehead were just beginning to heal. The only healed scars were the ones on my head that had healed in a strange series of squares. The mirror image was the clearest vision of myself I had seen in days.

She took the mirror and closed it kissing my neck as her hips moved against my leg.

"Mon cher," I whispered to myself self-consciously.

"What did you just call me ?," Minnie laughed stroking her body harder against me.

"Nothing I was talking to myself,” I said, “Just something I remember my mom used to call me,"

"I'm sure she is fine," Minnie said ,"You obsess about her. Was she like French or something ?,"

"Yeah something like that I think” I said, “Like your parents didn't have  stupid nicknames for you ?,"

"Yeah, um, dumb piece of shit, the mistake, that girl,"

"Really ?,"

"No," she laughed,"But, They weren't openly emotional or loving people. I just knew they loved me, I guess"

I pushed my head slightly closer to her and kissed her through her short breaths. She reached for the zipper on my pants when the vehicle jumped forward—sending me flat on my back and her on top of me. It didn’t stop us until we heard the van slow down to a stop.

There was a knock on the door so loud the car rocked. Minnie wrapped her legs around my waist as I sat back up—my hands resting on her back.  Sara opened her eyes quickly and immediately crawled over to the door --opening it to Saint

"I wasn’t paying attention, Sadie,” he said  “There was something in the rode,”

"Of course ," she sighed getting up and kicking Jean on her way out the van.

He woke with a start to see her disappear out the door.

"What the fuck are you doing ?," Jean asked, "Are we there ? ,"

"No, you useless son of a bitch," she sighed looking into the distance. I looked in her direction and saw something.  I couldn't make it out my vision was still very poor.

 

I followed Sara out the van and Minnie followed me, her arms still around me.

"What is it ?," I asked Minnow

"I think it's a person," Minnie said

"I think it's a corpse," Sara said

"Well, then let’s get the fuck out of here, then" Jean suggested

"What if it is a person ? What if they are still alive,”  I said, but my ideas fell on deaf ears

I heard a faint muffled conversation in my head of strange voices and something inside me stirred. Something was not right.

"Someone is coming," Saint said

I looked in the distance to see a group of people walking towards us. They were all men and appeared to be beaten by the elements like they were stranded.  But, who would be out in this environment?

“Saint, get in the front and try to get them away keep up the police act,” Sara said “Everyone else let’s hide in the back,"

She hopped in the back and pulled the weapons out of the bag and threw a gun to Minnie and one to me.

"You're letting me touch your--,"

"Please, shut the fuck up Alan," she snapped as she secured the gun beneath her shorts.

We listened quietly as the footsteps approached, there sounded like there had to  be more of them than us, aleast 12.

 Jean looked over at Minnow who was sitting next to me.

"Minnow," he said, "Come here with me,"

"No," Sara hissed, "No one move, just be quiet"

We heard voices talking to Saint in the front seat but, I couldn't make out any of the words. The men began to bang hard on the side of the car and  it started to tilt, causing Christopher to wake up and cry loudly.

"Damnit." Sara whispered quickly picking him up into her arms. She rocked him back and forth attempting to pacify him but, the  banging only got harder. Footsteps were coming towards the door.

“Everyone follow my lead,” Sara said, “Don’t do anything, or let them know what we are. Make them think we are afraid. Minnow don’t do anything stupid just cry or something to make them not want you.”

“That’s ridiculous—that won’t work,” I argued

“It worked on you,” Sara shot back,” Get their defenses down,”

We fell into silence and stared at each other as the doors opened.

“OUT!,” A man shouted “All of you !,”

We hurried out of the van, not making eye contact with any of the men. I could tell they were probably taller and stronger than me. If they did live out here they had found a way to survive.

Sara stood behind Jean with her kids behind her while Minnie stood beside the van  with her arms crossed tightly around herself. I made eye contact with her to stay with me but she didn’t move.

"We won't hurt anyone," the man said.

I looked up to see he was older at least in his 40’s and well tanned with a balding head. Something about him told me he was the leader. I could see one had a holstered gun as did the other 8 men standing around him. There were 4 others looking through the van.

13 in total.

Sara jerked forward as one of them put his hand up her leg.

“The hell ?,” He asked taking her gun.

“Please, I’m sorry. Leave us alone,” she begged,” I don’t even know how to use that thing. We just want to leave. Take what you want,”

“Stupid, bitch,” one of them laughed. He grabbed a container out of the back of the van and threw a foul smelling liquid on her and Chris. When it made contact with her skin he began to cry again and  a sharp breath left her mouth.

"Try something now," the man threatened as tears fell down her face.

I couldn’t tell if the tears were acting or not but, I soon  recognized the smell  as gasoline. So, that’s how this car was running, I could not believe there were cars that still ran on gasoline in existence. I did not know much about science but, I knew a stray bullet or  any source heat could set her  and Chris on fire.

"Please," Sara continued, “Do not hurt my son,”

I didn’t know if she was talking to us or them but her pain seemed genuine. I heard Minnow gagging and coughing from the fumes. She kept her arms cross making no attempt to silence her coughs.

"You're the prettiest thing, we've seen in a while," the leader said to her

She was silent and kept her folded arm stance. The man jerked her arm and a candy tin fell to the ground spilling pills all over the cracked earth. The leader picked them up and began putting them in his pocket.

“No!,” Minnow said reaching for them. He pushed her hard to the ground, Jean started to move but stopped. There were to many guns were pointed at him and he was to close to Sara.

“Excuse me ?,” he said putting one of the pills in his mouth.

“Leave me the fuck alone,” she said reaching for the fallen pill but he stepped on her hand.

"You little bitch,” he snarled as she screamed. Taking her arm he dragging her across the ground, “How about you spend some time with some real men ? How about that  you fucking whore ? ,"

He took her other hand and dragged her to the other side of the van.

My eyes shifted to Jean who was looking everywhere but at her


"Please," Jean started, not making eye contact with the man  "Let’s be civil ,she's a child only--,"

“ I know a whore when I see one,” he spat at Jean as they disappeared to the other side of the van 5 of his men following.

We were left with 7 men watching us. We stood there in the silence the only talk coming from our guards arguing over the food supply.

“What is your story anyway ?,” One man asked

“Innocent enough. Trying to escape to the East get a better life,” Jean said

"They don't just let people in, you should know that," he laughed

,'"Well we've got try. And yours ?,” Jean said

“Ex-cons and whistleblowers who don’t belong with society. We set up Shantytowns. This is how we survive,”

“By having a circle jerk with my baby sister,huh ?,”

Jean’s tone was so conversational it was hard to see if he was really upset or not. The man just shut up after that.

I on the other hand was pissed and waiting for my chance. I waited for them to turn their backs but, they kept them on us the whole time. I had no idea how these people who were supposed to be assasains were all sitting their twiddling their thumbs.

 -3-

From behind the van I heard a faint scream and I recognized it as Minnie's. It was followed by a gunshot and one of the men fell holding his knee. It didn’t take me long to realize the shot had come from my weapon.

“No!," Sara screamed the other men gathered around me. Jean stepped in front of me cutting a long slit in the neck of 2 men with a French point straight razor. The splattering of blood, distracted the other men  who were coming from the side of the van long enough for me to wrench their guns away from them.

I threw the guns beneath the truck and like idiots  they reached to get the weapons. I pushed my foot into one man's neck crushing it. The other one grabbed my leg but, before I could react his hand was severed by a knife and he curled up in pain. I crushed his throat as I had the other man. I turned to see the surviving men seemed to be leaving and others not looking for a fight.

I ran around the edge to see Minnie standing beside the van.

Before I could open my mouth to speak someone grabbed my head and banged it hard against the side of the truck. I would have attacked them back if I hadn’t smelt the strong odor of gasoline.

"Alan, you fucking idiot ! I could kill you right now," Sara screamed. She pulled out her gun and let the barrel strike my face. It was the first thing I felt in days but, it still took all my power not to want to kill her.

"What the hell ?,” I said pushing her away, “ Look, I’m sorry but they were going  hurting,--,"

"Hurting ? She's a fucking prostitute the worse they did was steal,” she screamed

"Sara,” Jean said warningly he had taken off his shirt and was wiping the blood of his face.

"Minnie, I--," I began

"I'm alright, Alan, " She interrupted

“You cannot go around killing whoever you want, justified or not,” Sara continued,” There is still an order to things, do you get that ?,”

“I do,” I said

“Next time you do something stupid like that I will rip your right eye and testicle out and make you swallow them,”

“And I’ve seen her do it,” Jean laughed

“Shut he hell up, Jean,” she yelled

 

I walked around to the other side of the van and looked around at blood soaked desert. It was scattered with corpses now.

We went and took an inventory of what was still in the van. The encounter had set us back more than we thought.

Sara had to  use the drinking water to wash any trace of gasoline of her  body, most of the food was on the desert floor  and more importantly we didn’t have any gasoline for the rest of the trip. Not that we had enough to go back to the Sprawl either.

“We can’t waste gas,” Sara said,” So, Saint and Alan you will push us the rest of the way. It may take longer but we have no choice. You said this thing is 2 weeks long we may be able to make it on the last day,”

It made no sense to me--walking a van across a desert into who knows where but, it seemed to make perfect sense to her.

They got into the back and after exchanging glances Saint and I took hold of the back and began to push. The van rolled easy enough, at a quicker pace than I would have thought.

The heat was unbearable still but I ignored it and just pushed.

I understood that an order had to exist even in this life and I have no idea why I chose to ignore it. I mean Jean could have killed Dakota long ago but he didn't. Was it out of respect ? I did not know what to think but, it looked like I had miles to think about it.