-1-

 I didn’t get to say good bye to Jean as I prepared to leave. Not that I really wanted to. I made a note telling him as soon as he stopped acting like a crazy man we could be friends again. I left the note on his bed, I went to get my clothes and crutched outside to the waiting sleek gray van where a corporal and Haley were waiting.

Haley reached and took my hand when I got close enough to him.

“Be safe, Alan.  I read the most likely place for a nuclear attacks is on an area was already hit by one. And don’t forget radioactive poisoning is contagious.”

“Great,” I said

 “I know you are good man and so does Sgt. Maxwell. . .  He would just prefer you be good somewhere else,” he said.

He pulled his hand away and I took it as my cue to get into the vehicle.

“Goodbye, Alan ” he said closing the car  door.

“Bye,” I said.

The only other person in the car was the driver. The backseat was filled with bright red storage bins , so I was sitting in the passenger’s side. As we drove off I saw Haley in the side mirrors. He was just standing there in the dirt, his hands clasped over his mouth, watching me go.

I felt something.

I wondered who would talk to him, who would he share his stories with, who would be his friend ?

Should I have thanked him ? He fought for me.

I mean, that’s what he did, right ?

It had been so long since I’d  really cared about anything.

 Before any of these thoughts could really mean anything, Haley was already too far away.

There were nothing to look outside of the windows so I slept most of the way.

When we arrived at Fort Life it was dark out.  The camp looked different from Camp Independence but better than I thought a place hit by bombs could look.  It was full of large streetlight looking structures and everything was in big white canvas tents.

 I was feeling anxious.

I realized that not too long ago this is where the nuclear bombs went off and it was probably full of radiation.

 What if Maxwell was trying to kill me ?

As we drove through the gate I saw a lantern swinging in the distance and the driver went towards it. The man swinging the light was Dr. Channing—my new direct superior.

 He was in his 40’s but had a youthful face, pieces of his chestnut hair were graying and he had smile lines near his lips. His eyes had dark circles around them like he had been beaten by life a bit.

 Dr. Channing was wearing matching blue silk pajamas, his feet were bare—he clearly wasn’t afraid of radioactive poisoning.

 The driver had Dr. Channing sign a paper and the ‘exchange’ of me was done.

The doctor  greeted me with a weak smile and using his hand beckoned for me to follow him.

He walked quickly.

Dr. Channing led me inside of a dark small concrete cabin where there were 3 cots set up. Someone was currently sleeping in the one in the middle. They were covered completely in quilts I couldn’t make out a face, just the ups and downs of the body as they breathed.

“Over here,” he whispered pointing to a cot in the far left corner, “You can rest there, I will wake you in the morning.”

I did as he asked.

What a strange day.

As I laid down, I began to feel a bit lonely. I felt alone and self-conscious for the first time since I was like a child.

I had no friends here, I had no idea where I was and I was insecure. I was sure I would stay up most of the night.

-2-

In the morning I was awoken  by Dr. Channing where he formally introduced himself.

“I am Alan Gray,” I responded to his introduction.

His cheerful demeanor faulted at  my last name but then came back on.

 “Well this is our living quarters, nothing much to it. It’s all kind of makeshift,” he explained  “There is a shower and sink outside. Don’t worry we don’t spend much time here,”

I wondered what this ‘we’ he kept using implied.

I simply nodded my head.

The cabin door opened and a young woman in dark pink scrubs came in, around her neck hung a military lanyard and ID card.  She was brunette and had a kind face—I could just imagine her as someone’s mother.

“Alan, this is Persephone. She is my niece and mentee. Persephone this is our new friend, Alan Gray.”

“Hello,” she greeted me.

I noticed she bit her lip at my last name.

She did not shake my hand because she was carrying two paper bags that looked heavy. I was going to take them from her but, she set them down before I could. She handed me cereal and fruit---a meal that went together, it was strange to me.

She had the same thing for herself and Dr. Channing, we ate in silence the only sound  in the space was the soft classical music drifting out Persephone’s syndicate.

“Beethoven?,” Channing asked

“Bach, actually,” she smiled

“Of course. Why did I say Beethoven ? I take it Bach,” Channing responded

Persephone giggled.

“Can I ask---,”

“Of course ask all you want ! Questions lead to knowledge !,” Channing beamed at me.

“You will get used to his enthusiasm,” Persephone laughed.

“Great, but, um what will my job be here, exactly  ?,”

“I’m not sure what Ken-- I mean, Sgt. Maxwell told you but, basically you will be our assistant. I am the head doctor at this camp and I am an expert in the field and I need help. Help no one can afford or volunteer to give.”

After the meal Persephone gave me a pair of scrubs and a lanyard like hers and we headed to the building next door—the big white tent. On the inside it looked more like a brick and mortar hospital--- a big facility, sterile, the bleach smell and it was lined with beds. Every bed was filled with a person.

 Some  people seemed slightly scarred or burned but, they were all in what looked like a restful sleep.

“This is Sector A,” Persephone said,” These are  the ones who have mild cases of radiation poisioning. They were in surrounding areas or drank it in from water.  Sector B is for major cases and Sector C is the quarantine. It’s over 200 people total here in Sector A and each a day more coming in. We are responsible for them all.

You will be mostly here in sector A. Most of these people will just have fevers and some nausea-- they only had about 2 Grays or less.”

“Gray ?,” I asked

“Right,” she said,  “It’s just a unit radiation exposure is measured in it-- I—oh,”

“It’s nothing, “ I said

It was just a word.

She showed me the large sinks where I should constantly was my hands, a shelf of antibiotics, a cabinet full of towels in the back and a place where any dirty clothes, sheets or towels should be left and taken to be washed.

There were hundreds of bright red boxes topped with the dirty laundry. I imagine it would take them weeks to get through it all.

“If it’s just you two who washes all this stuff ?,” I asked

“We have it sent to Camp Independence,” she explained.

When Persephone finished her tour, Dr. Channing guided me over to the first bed. The patient was still in his sleep, he was a man he had a few scrapes on his tanned skin but, he looked peaceful.

“We regulate their sleep. Everyone is put under at night,” Dr. Channing explained,  “As more get better we wean them of the sedative. The important thing is to monitor the temperatures. It’s a simple task you can do.”

He pulled out a thermometer, a small metallic machine that looked  like a hand held scanner.

  “You take this and click the switch, it turns on and a  light flashes, hold the light towards the forehead and watch,” he instructed.

 The thermometer made a beeping noise and the temperature appeared on the digital screen.

“You just record it on this slip under today’s date and it helps us keep track of fevers. This information helps me to decide medication. Once I assign medication it is your job to distribute it.”

The beeping of the thermometer  had woken the sleeping man and he began to rouse. He moved his hands to his stomach  before turning over and puking into a bucket. Persephone was at his side immediately with some bottled water.

“It’s okay ,” she smiled at him.

He swished the water and spit it out. As he wiped his mouth with a towel a light went off in my head.

 I recognized him.

“Shai ?,” I said

He was from the Neo-Luddite site. Shai De Gaulle, he was their mayor's son.

Aside from breaking away from technology Neo-Luddites were pacifist as well.  What had he been doing at a military base ?

He looked up at me, I could see the light going off.

“You, I remember you. Hi.” he said to me.

“How the hell did you end up here ?,” I asked

He paused.

“The blast radius hit our water supply it went off near our township. When they aimed the attack--they forgot we were there.”

“ Did anyone . . .die ? “

I thought of all the  faces we had seen while we were in Arcadia. They had all been so kind.

“Not that I know of,” he said

Dr. Channing put his arm on my shoulder.

“We have to move on, you gentlemen can catch up later.”

To pretend I wasn’t affected by what I saw would be a lie. No one seemed hurt but, they all seemed to be in some kind of discomfort. They hardly complained and Persephone—who stuck with me all day—never once let her smile break. Dr. Channing was constantly jumping from place to place but, I sensed he cared all too much as well.

At around lunch time, Persephone had me walk with her to the canteen. The canteen was a large building surrounded from floor to ceiling with refrigeration and freezer units. There  were  a couple of men and woman standing over where there was a small kitchen. There was non-perishable food everywhere.

Persephone pulled out a couple of rolling carts and opening the fridge, stacked  the carts with trays.

“You can push one of these, right ?,” she asked

“Of course.” I said.

I was down to one crutch now.

 She loaded the trays and we headed back towards Sector A. I could only roll one but, she was handling three.

“You guys have a lot of food here,” I observed

“Thank Channing for that.” she said,” He gets us a lot of monetary donations; It seems to be all people are willing to give. Anyway, today’s menu is chicken broth for those feeling a little nauseous and pasta for everyone else.”

“Okay.” I said

“And Alan, you have a lovely smile. The people in there need to see that.” She said.

As we headed into the tent, I saw Shia out the side of my eye stand up and take one of the carts from Persephone.

“You don’t have to do that.” She said, ”Lie back down.”

“Let me help,I feel fine.” He said

“No,” she laughed, ”Now, stop causing me trouble.”

He gave her a coy smile and went back to his bed

“Sorry,” she called after him,” You know it’s doctor’s orders.”

“I understand.” He said

We served lunch to the patients and just as we were sitting down to eat for ourselves, her Syndicate flashed blue and she looked at the message on it.

“I need you to come help me in Sector B,” she said,” Channing was called away and there is a problem.”

“Okay,” I said

She headed for a jeep outside and got into the driver’s seat. We drove a considerable distance until we got to a tent similar to the one we had just left. She jumped out and we headed for the door, at the door she paused like she was thinking of what she was going to say but, she just continued on inside.

I stopped at the door

It was like an image out of that poem we read in school. Dante’s Inferno ?

The room was full of people.

They were all men, most of them were just in their underwear some of them completely naked all crammed  into  the room There bodies were hairless and  covered in burns and  raised purple spots. All  of them were lying in beds, some of them sharing beds with one or two others, there were   tubes running out of literally every orifice in their body. Some of them had their eyes open moving in confusion others were turned to the side facing their neighbors holding hands, a few had their bodies contorted into weird positions and mumbling nonsense.

There were a  few able bodied soldiers in uniform doing what I can only describe as standing guard in the corners of the room. The soldier standing guard seemed helpless to do anything but, just stand around.

Persephone was headed to the back where a man was violently pulling at his tubes, he had ripped a tube out of his mouth. Some of the others were mumbling things loudly in his direction.

“Private Griffin,” she said taking his hand away from the tubes.

“You left me !  You said you’d be back and you left me . . .bitch !,” He screamed at her. His eyes were bloodshot.

“I’m sorry, “she said holding one of the tubes in her hand and wiping the blood off the end.

“Bitch ! Where am I ?, What have you done, today ?” he asked,” Where the hell am I ?,”

“You are at Fort Life, Handsome. We are taking care of you.”

He breathed hard and then grabbed her shoulder.

“I want to go home . . . the East Corridor of the LOLA” he said calmly, “Will I go home tomorrow? What happened to me ? How the hell . . I don’t understand !”

“Listen to me Private Griffin,” she said ,” All you need to know is me and my friends will take good care of you. Whatever you want we will get you to make you comfortable. Do you feel like sleeping ? I can do that.”

“I want to go home !,” he shouted and slapped her across the face.

The other patients were unaffected by this . Only a few shouting obscenities in their direction.

All the soldiers standing guard moved to retaliate but, she put her hand up.

Her smile was gone as she stroked her finger against his cheekbone. His face relaxed as she reached for a syringe with a needle attached.

“Sephy, Sephy, sephy, . . .did you see the flash, huh?,” he asked

She shook her head

“It’s okay, though. I’m going to put you to sleep,” she said.

She stood over him as his eyes got heavy and he drifted to sleep.

She turned to the soldier standing guard and mouthed “okay now?”.  He shook his head and she headed for the door.

Persephone walked in a lopsided zig zag as she touched each bed on her way to the door.

“You are very brave,” I  said to her.

She was a small woman but, she commanded more attention when she walked in a room than anyone else I had ever known.

“Those men are my angels,” she said,” You should know they are all going to die by the end of the month from  the exposure.”

“So, why don’t you put them out of their misery ?,” I asked

She scowled at my remark.

“Channing’s research is always getting better. Don’t make me start talking about starfish. We may be able to save one.  Also, we give time for family to come and visit, we tell them not to tell the soldiers the prognosis. We find it keeps them from committing suicide.”

“That is . . . terrible.” I said

“There really is no good to this situation. That is why Channing accepted you as our assistant.  No one else seems to  last on the job for more than a few days,”

***

I followed Persephone around for a few days before she let me on my own. Not that it was something I looked forward to. I was hesitant, I really didn’t want to touch people but it was something I got over.

I saw other familiar faces from Arcadia as I went around Sector A. I did not speak to any of them except for niceties ---except for Shai. He was feeling better each day and wanted to talk to everyone. His entire community had been destroyed and he wanted more than anything to put it back together.

One night Dr. Channing requested me to meet him in his private office at the end of the day. I did not interact with him much and hoped I had not done anything wrong. His office was in a separate structure to itself I had never been inside.

When I opened the door the office looked like just another exam room. He was wearing a dress military uniform. I looked at him long enough to realize he wasn’t just Dr. Channing ,he was Major Channing.

“Yes, sir ?,” I said.

“I want to look at your leg,” he said

“Oh, It’s fine.”

He looked at body parts all day I was not going to add to that burden.

“Nonsense, I have time,”

He put my leg through an x-ray machine. He didn’t speak much, like Blackbird.

I suppose that is a tactic of geniuses.

It is.

He gave me an anesthetic  and pulled out a laser knife.

“Look away, if you want.” He said

I didn’t, I wanted to see. He sliced a neat cut in my leg  nearly to the bone and began slipping in small thin silver rods.

“I am auto-correcting the position of the bone. It’s a  cheap inexpensive remedy I have been thinking about. ”

He kept inserting an repositioning the metal rods for half an hour before stitching up the wound.

“Can you stand up ? .” He asked

He took away my crutches and I balanced carefully putting all my weight on my foot for the first time. I felt whole, it felt fine..

 “Thank you,”

“It was nothing.” He said,” I just sped up your healing a month at best. I have to say that Frank boy fucked your leg up a bit.”

I chuckled at his comment.

“I sensed that,” I said.

I gathered up the bloody gauze he had been using to clot the cut and threw it in the hazardous waste bin in the corner when I got a glimpse of something through a cracked door in the back of the office.

There was a second room connected to his office. The room was lit by  big white-blue floruescents and the floor was covered in white shiny incubators—elevated above the ground.

“My prizes,” he said

I jumped as he came behind me and opened up the second room.

“This is my lab, Alan.” He explained

He walked inside and I followed, I peeked into the incubator and did not see plants this time but, pulsating red and white things floating in liquid—organs.   There was other organic material I could not detect.

“What have you--,”

“This is my research.” He said,” My most prized possession. I have been writing a theory on creating organs that could filter radioactive material for years. I started growing these organs when I was working with the researchers on studying the Life Summit disaster. I have grown these organs from organic and synthetic materials and have been working on getting them to fight radioactive poison.  Then I can put them into victims. I’m trying to save some of the others.”

“I’ve heard about this,” I said,” My dad worked for Tempus Corporation. At Henry Kyto’s funeral  this man talked about how--,”

“Kytoxcin will be irrelevant soon if this war keeps going. We will be too busy fighting to mine uranium. No, Alan what I am going is different.  I am creating organs, skin cells, brain cell  that are resistant to radioactive materials without using any Kytoxcin or unethical means.”

“How far along are you ?,”

He ushered me out the room and shut the door.

“Nothing is conclusive and I am running out of  how do you say . . . fiscal resources. I am heading  to Fort Perch tonight to speak at a fundraiser. That is why I look oh so official,” He smiled straightening out his uniform.

We headed for the door of the office. For the first time I noticed there was a car waiting for him.

“I take it you will keep track of Persephone and do as she says ?,”

“Of course, sir,” I said.

He locked the office door and got into the vehicle leaving me standing alone in the dark.

-3-

At Fort Life  no two days were the same. It did not have the monotony of Camp Independence.

 When I woke up the next morning the first thing I noticed was the Fort was full of people. Hundreds of men, women and kids were standing at the gate and hundreds more were inside the gate standing at a table. I searched the crowd and saw Persephone carrying breakfast for us as usual.

“What is going on ?,” I asked

“Visitors day,” she said,” The base allows families to come once a week and visit or see if we have found their missing soldier--,”

“Found ?,”

“Yes. We find someone occasionally. Also the press comes to get images, but you and I will just go about the day as normal. It’s just a bit more hectic.”

I was heading to Sector A when I stopped just to watch the crowds. They were lining up at tables to —mostly older men and women were in the lines.  They came up to the desk asked for a name and showed either an image on a Syndicate or in a frame, the officer gave them an ‘ I’m sorry no’ or ‘Yes, go to sector B, here it the bed number, please keep these rules in mind’.

There were quite a few more yes answers than I imagined.

There was a group of blonde women at the front of the line closest to me. The one in the front of the group was the youngest. She appeared homely but, she was very anxious, her hands shaking as she held hands with the others.

“Um, Rogers, “ she stammered, “Cleo Rogers ?”

“I’m sorry, no.” the officer said,” “But, we are taking DNA today to match with remains, perhaps we can take some from you.”

“I’m  just the fiancé. You took some DNA from his mother last week,” she said motioning to the older woman whose hand she was holding. “We don’t understand--,”

“I’m sorry, ladies, new information comes every week---,”

“We know,” she said.

The nodded their heads and turned away.

I was staring at them considering what I should do when I felt something hit the back of my neck. I looked down to see  a football at me feet. I looked to around see who had thrown it and saw Shai pointing at me.

I was still thinking about Cleo.

“Hey, sorry.” He said jogging up to me, “You okay ?,”

“Yeah,” I said shaking off the incident,” Persephone is going to kick your ass--,”

“She said I could get up along with a few others. She is usually pretty relaxed on visitors days. We are borrowing a car and heading back to Arcadia to start planning the rebuilding, care to come ?,”

“Are we really that close ?,”

“Unfortunately.”

I asked Persephone if I could leave and she had no problem with it. I just had to get away from all this crying and reunions.

I did not know the other people in the van but, I imagined they were related to Shai because they all looked very similar. We had only been driving for about 30 minutes when we reached an area covered in a white snow.

We kept driving and the amount of snow  only got worse.

“Stop the car! Stop here !” Shai said to the driver.

He opened the door and got out. Two of the others followed him

 “This is fallout,” one of them said

Shai took off in an opposite direction and the group followed him. He was standing on a bridge overlooking most of what used to be Arcadia, the gold dome of their capital building was sitting toppled on the ground, all of the building were rotting and the plants were dead.

“What is this ?,” Shai asked threatening to walk closer, one of the Arcadian men grabbed his arm.

“We can’t be exposed too long,” he said.

The all headed back to the car except for Shai who was still looking at the destroyed town.

“Come on, Shai,” the Arcadian said ,” We need to just be thankful everyone is alive and fine.”

The trip was fruitless and we headed back. I was more than happy to hear that Persephone wanted me to take the trash out in Sector B immediatley. I couldn't get past the look of anguish on Shai's face.

Sector B looked cheerier than before, it was full of civillian visitors and some of the tubes had been removed from the prisoners. Families had brought colorful blankets so the place had some color.

 I saw Private Griffin—who looked worse than before had managed to sit up in bed and  was in  bed with an older man.  Griffin was coughing into the mans arm.

“It’s okay, Son,” the older man said.

He coughed for a few for minutes.

“I’ll be home soon, Dad.” he told his father.

His father reassured him of this fact.

I decided that was the worse lie to tell.

-4-

In the LOLA, In Camp Independence, hell even back at home time did not mean anything at all.

Here time meant everything.

 Days were calculated exactly and I knew them to a fault.

Every Wednesday was visitor’s days

Every Friday I had “off”. I had nowhere to go or nothing to do so it meant nothing.

At 5 PM the search teams arrived with either more remains or a new person for quarantine. An area I had never (and would never) see.

  I began to admire Dr. Channing, he worked tirelessly all night and he had accepted me.

He knew about my illegal black operations denounced them but, never said a word to me about it. When he came back from his fundraiser he actually had 2 med students with him.

What Dr. Channing did was to help people and out of the goodness of his own heart. He was using technology to cure people not hurt them. I could get behind that.

A month passed by quickly.

It was early morning and I had not seen Persephone at all. I walked out and saw she was standing by Sector B with a tissue to her eyes.  I had never seen her break the shell of being constantly pleasant. 

The dam of emotion broke when they bought Private Griffin out.

He was moving to Sector A.

His body had fought the radiation, his condition was better his mind was right and he could not remember half the things he had ever said to us. It didn’t matter.

He was going to be okay.

He was walking on his own but, there were two officers at his side making sure he didn’t fall. I followed behind him and Persephone took his arm and led him into Sector A. They walked to the door like a couple on a boardwalk in the moonlight.

 When they opened the doors of Sector A, there was an eruption of applause.

Sector A was mostly Arcadians who were against war and military but they didn’t seem to care as Private Griffin made his way in. I saw Dr. Channing in the corner clapping the loudest.

The truth was Private Griffin represented hope for all them, that was why they celebrated.   If he could get better anyone could. There was such a thing as survival. 

He had been that one.

“Does this happen often ?,” I asked Dr.Channing

“No, but this is good.” He said,” I can use DNA and blood from Private Griffin to further my studies.”

Dr. Channing walked over to speak to Griffin and I noticed Shai and a few other Arcadians gathered around paper and books. I saw the books were all about nuclear fallout. I decided to easedrop since I knew I did not belong in this conversation.

“I can see the new town already,” Shai smiled ,”We have the old diaries from when our great-great grandfathers built the first Arcadia and we can do it again. Only, it will be better.”

“Yes but, they had the support of the government. Will we get that ?,” Someone asked.

“My father knows people in the government and will request meetings,” he said,” They owe us millions for what they did. We just need to have a plan ready. If we can clean up the fallout we can rebuild in the old location.”

“You are showing lots of leadership potential,” a woman said,” I take it your father is retiring soon ?,”

“I just want to get us home,” Shai said

I thought when they decided to call the  place that had been ravished by nuclear bombs Fort. Life it was kind of a dumb name but, it was clear there were signs of new life everywhere. It made me want to change, to believe in something like Shai did or believe in myself like Griffin had.

-5-

In the Western Repulic, they call me an atheist with a distain in their voice because I don’t believe in anything. It sounds like a bad word on their lips but, I can deal with it.

On the next Visitor’s Day, we had to bury 4 dead bodies.

 Shai De Gaulle and 4 other Arcadians.

How can  I believe in anything after that.

***

Their deaths angered me.

I wanted to be alone, but there was no place here I could do that. I stole into Dr. Channing’s private office and sat for an hour before he came in and found me. He was not even upset I broke into his office. He just sat across from me and waited for me to speak.

“I don’t get it.” I said to him, “Nothing makes sense. It is all so senseless,”

“So goes war.” He said.

“What happened ?,” I asked

“Fallout can be very toxic. Persephone and I assumed it had reached it’s half life and it was less dangerous.”

“But, I was with them.”

“Well, you aren’t exactly built like most people. I have found in my research Neo-Luddites have weaker immune systems to start with because they are not exposed to the trace amounts of uranium and radiation like the rest of us are from our technology.”

“You couldn’t save them ?,”

“I don’t know. I never say ‘there was nothing  I  could’ do because there is always something to do. If I could have I would have. Every life is sacred to me.”

We sat in silence for a while.

“I’m going to check on the patients. You can stay here if you need some time,” Channing said.

“Thanks.” I managed

I sat in the chair for a while hoping to make sense out of the senseless deaths I had seen.

After sitting got boring, I walked around aimlessly in the office.

 I walked into his lab and looked around, I saw the life before me and imagined he had enough organs to save anyone. Hell, he could probably make someone.

I wanted to find a specific incubator, it was the one in the back that Dr. Channing started after the autopsies of the Arcadians. They had given the permission for Dr. Channing to use their organs for his research and find what caused their organ failure.

Dr. Channing did not write names on the incubators of where the organs where from but, I found an incubator with Shai’s height, weight and age on it.   I peered in and  looked at Shai’s heart--- I just wanted to touch it but I didn’t .

He had a good kind one, it looked healthy floating in the clear liquid.

I saw his lungs, liver and kidneys too but, they had less impact on me. These body parts didn’t seem like they could be all they were to him.

I was ready to leave when I saw a flickering light coming from one of the lab’s closet doors. I had never noticed that door before.

I looked around and then slowly walked towards the door—like a moth attracted to the bright flickering. As soon as I stepped inside I was attacked by brightness and a chilling cold.

In the middle of the room was a small incubator.The room was so cold it had to be a mortuary but, what body was he keeping there ? The main mortuary was by Sector B.

The incubator had tubes going out of it both ways and a rhythmic mechanical sound was coming from it.

I peered inside of the incubator to see a person with their chest moving up and down.

The face formed itself from my memory.

A purple ribbon  taped to the incubator.

Minnow.